Is Narcissm Sign Of Things To Come?

It’s ten in the morning and I am in my office. Don’t have much to do really. All of the tasks that I have to finish either have a deadline far from today or some input is required from my supervisor to proceed. So I am just waiting for either of those to happen. I thought I would go get some coffee. Strangely, even after the morning bath and a zipping drive to the office on my Kawasaki Ninja, my brain refuses to wake up completely. I had a good sleep last night aided by the weather that is getting colder by the day and I can’t think of anything that would make my biological CPU sluggish. May be I should get some coffee.

So I go to get some coffee, right. The first coffee dispenser, which is much closer to my desk, is out of coffee. I never make my own coffee at the office, for the simple reason that I don’t trust my coffee making abilities. I am taste-fully handicapped as it is. I never seem to get the right mixture of things that make a good coffee. The sugar isn’t enough or too much, cream isn't enough or too much or sometimes even the coffee itself isn’t enough or too much. But I try everyday. I move on to the next dispenser, for which I have to walk a couple of corridors. The coffee pot in that break room has about a half cup coffee left in it and it is pretty clear that it has been sitting there for some time. Anyway, for my half asleep brain, it wouldn’t matter as long it has a good concentration of caffeine in it. So walk up to the counter, away from the coffee pot, where the tall white paper cups are kept, clearly marked ‘For Hot Drinks Only’ and grab one. Then I see a just-walked-in girl, more like a women, near the coffee pot filing her flask with something that I can’t see. OMG, she could be taking the last of whats left in the coffee pot.

I speed-walk to her not exactly sure of what I am going to do once I get there, but not less than a foot from the target, I notice she is filing the flask with hot water. See, there is a sink right next to the coffee machine, and she is just stocking her water reserve. With a sigh of relief, I decelerate to normal walking speed with the paper cup in one hand, nothing in the other and when I was within touching distance of the pot’s handle, without warning it happened. I had an EPIPHANY. For those of you who didn’t watch ‘The Simpson's Movie’, an Epiphany is ‘a sudden realization of ultimate truth’. So, that’s what I had. Everything became clear, and it was simple. All I had to do was put the sugar and cream first into the cup and then fill it with coffee until the color becomes the right shade. The logic is undeniable and yet it is so obvious. I make a u-turn and head up to the counter with nice little racks of ingredients.

There is an assortment of sugars. Zero calorie sugar, brown sugar, alpine sugar, crystal sugar and just sugar. I used to have the zero calorie type, to pretend that I am health conscious, but from an informal informational session with a friend of mine, I learned it is not good for health. Negative calories do not exist, positive calories can be harmful and zero calories are bad. Looks like the end of the world is near. Now I only take pure or cane or sometimes brown sugar. Although obvious, for legality sake I have to say, it is not the brown sugar that’s illegal. I empty out four packs of dip-type tea-bag sized pouches of pure sugar into the cup I have been carrying around for a good 5 minutes now and then I add some more. Strangely, there is only one type of cream. The bad one. I eye ball some of it into the cup while trying my best not to inhale the puffs of cream powder that invariably gets dispersed into the air, due to some physics law related to gravity and mass. I fail, and some of it get into my nostrils making me turn about and sneeze a couple of times with the, un-apologetically forced, ‘excuse me’ wedged in between. And that is when I noticed it.

While I was busy executing my epiphany dictated actions, three people had entered the room and were into third gear at their conversation (too much motorcycle metaphors?). As often as a conversation does, it made people thirsty and one of them reached for the three-quarters empty coffee pot on which I had pinned all of my hope for awakening my brain (and content of this blog). It was exactly as it was predicted in all the Hollywood movies that had the line- ‘the Beginning of the End’. My whole life flashed before my eyes. That person, lets call her- ‘she’, had the pot in her hand as she continued her argument with her ‘friends’ oblivious to the fact that my heart was where that coffee should have been, in my mouth. Everything happened in ultra-slow motion as she poured the last few milliliters off the pot into her cup and it was over. It was one of those days in which even epiphanies are fallible. Only the Catholic Pope is left.

Head fallen, heart broken, almost asleep I walked like a banker who invested everything he had in Lehman Brothers’ stocks, still holding the cup with sugar and cream, no coffee nor hope. Someone passed by me and I heard ‘good morning’ vaguely, so I replied ‘morning to you too’ silently like a M.Night Shyamalan movie character, walking slowly, I reached where I am right now, My desk. Some process is running in my screen and there are bunch of emails in my ‘In’-Box of the email client. None important, so without paying attention I am deleting anything that does not have the word ‘we regret to inform you’ or ‘free credit score’ in its content. I am already done with the usual email, cricket score and top news stories checking ritual in the first hour of the day and like I mentioned I can’t proceed with the tasks that I have in my list-of-tasks; I am at complete loss. Nothing to do but think.

Moving to THE US of A, I always thought, would make my life such a great one. I would have anything I want. All great things would happen to me, I thought. Instead everything that can go wrong has gone that way. I live in a desert, with mostly people not very friendly, at least not in the same age group. I am stuck with a job about which I am not going to talk about. Living in an apartment with 5 people whose last name I don’t exactly know, sleeping in the carpet with a TV that can’t run for more than an hour, my daily diet include unhealthy, more importantly, tasteless, American made, or modified (as in removed all the taste) Indian food and the occasional (read plenty) snacks rich with transient fat. In my leisure hours, I watch re-runs of movies and tv shows in my laptop, for which I still pay interest on my credit card, and interestingly, I watch re-runs of movies and TV shows in my laptop when I am busy as well.

Leading a depressing life, with no thrill, no girl friend, no excitement I don’t see the end of this dark tunnel. The light has diminished long back and seems like I am only waiting for the inevitable time of departure as I mindlessly wander through.…

Wait, do I smell coffee…or am I dreaming. I see someone standing near the coffee machine that is close to my desk. Is this heaven? I hear the sweet music of freshly brewed coffee pouring into the pot of love and purity. Yes, I smell the mesmerizing aroma of heavenly caffeine. Yes, it seeks us. It calls to us.

Yes, Precious…Come to Papa.

Is It Safe To Come Out Now?

It’s Sunday today, which means its time to relax. Not that I am stressed or over worked during the other 6 days of the week, but its just that a Sunday seems to be the day when you are supposed to be as relaxed as you can be. Almost all the ‘institutions’ are closed on a Sunday and so, unlike a Saturday when some offices open for a few hours, you can not carry out some of your not-so-often regular tasks like paying the bills, renewing your license or visiting your bank. You wakeup late, finish the ‘TASKS’, take breakfast, gawk at the cute girl in the other apartment and settle into your couch, lay back and power up the entertainment set, for most people it’s the Television, and for others, like me, its their computer. From then on and until bedtime or eye irritation and headache, whichever comes first, its relaxing time. Now to me watching movies and re-runs of my favorite shows and daydreaming is what is relaxing. I enjoy it thoroughly and have no plans of giving it up.
But in the recent past weeks, I have to say, relaxing doesn’t seem to be as easy as it used to be, especially with the recent terrorist activities back home. The past few months have been devastating for Mother India and her citizens due to multiple terrorist attacks on heavily crowded areas. With the fledgling US market creating panic and uncertainty in the global and Indian exchanges, the threat on the security of the state is alarming. The local authority and the central government alike, seem to have no answers to these menacing acts as blast after blast rips through not only people’s lives but the general public’s morale as well. These are hard times to stay relaxed.
When leaders, both in ruling and opposition parties, fail to act or convincingly assure their subjects’ concerns, it’s the role of the news media, both print and digital, to step up to the plate. News media, in all of its forms, can reflect a country’s heartbeat and has the potential to sway the public opinion. But unfortunately, the current state of Indian News Corporation is dire. I was just reading an article published in ibnlive.com that stated that the Indian public is scared because of recent terrorist activities. Although it doesn’t take much ingenuity to appreciate the banality of the statement, what concerned me or rather made me feel disgusted is that the article paints this portrayal of mass hysteria that seems to have gripped the nation. The article is a survey conducted in five major cities in India, and it concludes that a good majority of the public has said that they are scared of stepping out for markets, tourist spots and other places of interest. Some of them have even said that they refrain from going out during weekends. While they seem skeptical and prudent, its just normal behavior. Similar to the media in US, the news corp in India leeches off ratings, a.k.a profit, by fueling the drama and sensationalism craved by mass public instead of doing real journalistic work. It’s similar to that depressingly empty-headed reporter who asks to an actor who has just won an award ‘How do you feel?’.
A Terrorist is someone who is involved in acts of violence in order to induce fear and insecurity in people’s mind to force their ideological agenda (Wikipedia). By the very definition fear can be expected in the people who experience terrorism. But by magnifying the fear and hence making the terrorists appear more potent, the media can easily drive the public’s anxiety into over drive. Four blasts in four months, all in crowded tourist spots in major cities including the capitol can be extremely stressful for a country, especially if it is as deep rooted in religion and communal division as ours. Turning this tragic time into a money making opportunity puts all those corporate journalists and reporters who feed off of the public’s current state in the same league as the unashamed politicians and, in broader terms, aid to those terrorists. Terrorism is not new to our country and as always, contrary to what the article projects, the Indian society may be shaken, but it is never broken.
Of all the adjectives that can be attributed to an Indian national, the undeniable one must be his extra-ordinary capability of being a ‘survivor’. An Indian has seen a long history and to him life is endless. He was there when the subcontinent was pristine; He saw science, trade and religion grow and flourish in the planet’s one of the richest land, which he called home. He was there when Alexander came to his field; he was there when the Moguls ruled his home; he was there when Ghazni plundered his backyard and he was surely there when British came and watched them leave. Even after becoming a republic The Indian Union has been the land of survivors. Today the Indian has seen socialism, experienced communism, accepted and modified capitalism for the better. He can be efficient when needed, loyal when required and corrupt if necessary.
Although his history sounds fascinating, he has endured some of the toughest tests for a citizen and he has survived them all. He has traveled far and wide and has emerged victorious in all aspects of life. He is extremely adaptive and assimilates anything that stands in his way and uses it as an advantage in his march to the future.
And like all evil before today, Terrorism will also fall at his feet.