Thursday, January 28, 2010

Going, Going and Gone...

10:00 PM 01/05/10 PM MST
Shadow Creek Apartments, Mesa Arizona USA
The day has finally arrived. Its been almost three years since my last visit and I am very sure things would have changed a lot since then. I was in college doing my masters back in 2006 when I made my last trip to Chennai India, which is my real home and since returning from that trip I had dreamt of the day when I will be going back. The day has finally arrived. I came very close to making this trip earlier this year, but couldn't fulfill it. Since the previous visit, I have graduated college, found a new job, moved to Arizona, missed marriages, festivals and get-togethers of family members and friends. And in about 7 hours I will begin the epic journey of magnanimous proportions whose enormity can only be described by the very definition of the word gigantic. Or it could just simply be a very long and boring journey. Either way I want to remember this trip for a long time and the easiest way to do that is to just type them. Mine is an early flight tomorrow and so I am in my bed ready to sleep and wake up early. I had already finished up all the packing and just finished a mental check of what needs to be done before leaving my apartment. With that our pre-travel preparations are done and we are ready for flight. Let the traveling begin.

5:40 AM 01/06/10 MST
Terminal 4 SkyHarbor International Airport, Phoenix USA
There is practically now one within 15 feet of me in any direction. The sounds I hear are from distant places, far and below from me, and its totally fine if you could not guess that I was at the busiest Airport in Arizona. I got dropped off at PHX airport Departures at Terminal 4 by friends just past 5 AM today. I had a fair bit of luggage- given that my itinerary spans major portions of the North America, Europe and Asia and the Atlantic Ocean in between- and I learned upon arrival that the airport charges for the trolleys that one uses for pushing the bags. I had already spent more than a couple of thousand dollars for this trip to my home town in Chennai and so I wasn't going to pay the 25 cents for something I can do without. As is the norm with most of my travel plans there is always something that would change ever so slightly that the whole agenda would be threatened. Trying to not think of it I pushed my luggage to United Airlines counter- which was my transit flight to chicago- and after a short wait, the woman at the counter says that the confirmation has been cancelled!! Then she says its on a different flight. I keep trying to explain to her that I booked the flight three months ago and got confirmation too. Then she finally finds out that its a code share flight. Apparently Lufthansa, my actual ticket provider, code-shares with UA and UA in turn code shares with US Airways. She does some typing and comes back to me that I have to get to a different terminal which is where US Airways is located. She also dropped one on me by saying that I have to hurry and might not make it to the plane in time. Although my flight is a good 3 hrs away, I am thinking may be there is big crowd for security check. Why would I question her information - she is only the employee at the airport who does this for a living. So now I am hauling two large and heavy suitcases + plus 1 cabin bag and one laptop bag and hurrying. I get to the terminal bus stop and luckily the "Roadrunner" bus - which is how PHX intl. airport names its transit buses- arrived in a matter of seconds and in about 10 minutes I am at terminal 4.
Again the counter here has a slightly long queue and when its my turn, the lady says this is for UA flight and I have to go back to Terminal 3. At this point, I simply dropped my suitcases and shoulder bag, leaned on the counter that seemed to have been cleaned just moments ago and gave her the complete history what has happened so far and, surprisingly, managed to convince her. She called in someone else and she did some more typing and then finally saw the light. Relieved I started checking in my luggage only to be stopped by her. Apparently Lufthansa had started to charge an additional 55$ for every baggage checked in after the first one. As always I tried to reason with her explaining how my travel agency website did not say anything about this, and even when I checked Lufthansa website it clearly said 2 bags can be checked in for free. This time I could not make her agree with me and she stuck to her story that any ticket booked after August of 2009 must pay this additional fee and Lufthansa may not have updated their website. By this time I had pretty much lost any interest arguing further and simply wanted to get on with it. But my Indian nature wouldn't agree. For the next 30 minutes I kept saying the same set of reasons over and over for not having to pay the fee, mostly hoping for some kind of discount, and, like it is said in stereotypical comedy routines, its hard to get a bargain out of far east asian people. I gave up in the end and paid her, got the receipt and finally got to check in my bags. As a leaving note she tipped me that there was practically no crowd at the security check point and I had all the time in the world to catch my flight. And she was right. The security check point had sparse crowd and an Indian couple was nice enough to let me go in front of them. Now on to the gate.

6:15 AM 01/06/10 MST
Gate B6 SkyHarbor International Airport, Phoenix USA

I woke up at 4:15 AM today and already feeling sleepy. I am not used to waking up anytime before 8:30 even on work days and 4:30 is torturously too early. The flight is scheduled for 8:50 AM departure and the norm is to be at the airport 3 hours earlier for International flights. I never notice the minutes part of the time in any ticket, so all I remembered was 8 AM in the ticket confirmation printout and 3 hours earlier would be 5 AM. I planned ahead and went to sleep early by 10 PM, but then again I usually go to bed by 12. So I didn't really get to sleep until 1 AM and before I knew it my cell phone alarm went blaring. With this bit of pre-airport arrival info you would have calculated by now that I was about 2:30 hrs early at the Gate - B6 waiting. The flight number was, really, US -1. Yes, it was literally the first flight out of phoenix by US Airways. This gate with all other gates in my line of sight had a total of 3 people and I was one of them and one guy was cleaning the counters. Too much time to kill I started wandering off and managed to find a StarBucks shop just opening up. I grabbed a Tall regular, which what they call their smallest size, and as the first sip of warm coffee hit the taste buds my brain, as if woken up by the caffeine, remembered the facet that Phoenix intl. airport has free WiFi internet service. I had missed the last two episodes of 'The Daily Show' - The most trusted fake news show in USA. I started-up my laptop as I found a seat near by a power socket. Since the macbook starts up in less than 10 seconds in no time I was sipping coffee and, thanks to Hulu, immersed myself into the wonderful world free internet content video.

8:25 AM 01/06/10 MST
Gate B6, SkyHarbor International Airport, Phoenix USA
Finally boarding has began. There are more people around me now, I must have really lost sense of my surroundings while watching online videos. Just sent an email to my buddies informing them of my current status and called my home in Chennai to let them in on it too. A elderly couple from Hyderabad just approached me and asked if I can help them out in Chicago, which was our common connecting destination, to catch their flight to Frankfurt, which was also our common connecting destination one step further. I agreed, given my generous nature. My Zone-4 was just called. Got to go.

12:55 PM 01/06/10 CST
The Runway, Chicago O'Hare Intl Airport, Chicago USA
We just landed and the plane is taxiing in the runway at chicago OHare Airport. I should have eaten something while waiting at Phoenix. As soon as the flight took off there, my stomach started to growl and in-flight complimentary beverage only helped as an appetizer for a person with eating disorder. I tried to sleep, watch out the window, watch the girls around my seat- there were only 3, even tried reading the sky mall magazine. Eventually my stomach had no choice but to give-up its pursuit and once the glucose level dropped below certain point I simply dozed off. By the time I woke up, I started to feel hungry again, but from the elevation level of the plane I deduced that we were only minutes away from touch down at Chicago. The pilot's announcement helped too. Heartened I thought about what I would type once I get to the terminal. I noticed the white blanket that totally wrapped the land sparing only the roads and driveways of tiny visible houses. The much reported cold front of North eastern United States which brought several feet of snow was clearly visible and coming from Arizona which is practically a desert state, I wondered why these people are complaining about snow. Its not so bad, Its white and fluffy. Then I remembered my days in Oklahoma where winter is just another euphemism for frigid cold winds and biting snow fall. But still, snow beats the sun, at-least in my opinion. For one thing, you can never play with suns rays like you do with snow flakes. Its been a while since I played with snow flakes. It was great when I first experienced it in Nov of 2005 in Stillwater. The dude next to me is asking to depart the plane.

1:30 PM 06/01/10 CST
Traveller's Lounge, Chicago O'Hare Intl. Airport, Chicago USA
Inside the Terminal. Just found out that Terminal 1 was were we're headed. 'We' as in me and the elderly couple I mentioned earlier. We walked about 20 feet, but then it occurred to me. What if they were on a different airlines. Surely there are other airlines that service Frankfurt. I asked the gentleman and he replied "Indian Airlines". Yeah, lucky break. O Hare is a huge airport and it would have sucked to have walked all the way to Terminal 1 and found out that they have to go to, ummm..lets see..Indian Airlines-Terminal 5. I guided them to the entrance of Terminal 5 where the security man said 'you gotta have boarding pass to get thru' -which I had. "your gate is located in Terminal 1. you gotta have a boarding pass from this list of airlines to enter thru here' - which I couldn't since Lufthansa was not listed there. I gave the couple instructions on where to go and what to do once they get there. They praised my generosity and offered to pay me a large sum of money but, of course ,I refused. I have about 2 hours for boarding to begin for my next flight and to make things worse, chicago doesn't offer free Wifi in its International Airport. Of course you can get it if you pay for it, but who wants to do that. I'll just grab a big mac and wait.


3:30 PM 06/01/10 CST
Charging Pod, Chicago O'Hare Intl. Airport, Chicago USA
Although food from McDonald's is supposedly bad for your health, its undeniable that it tastes great. Just finished the Big Mac and I have to admit there is nothing distasteful about slightly overpriced fast food as long as you add ketchup to it. Anyway, boarding is about to begin for my 8 hour flight to Frankfurt using the A340-300 from Lufthansa.

3:15 AM 07/01/10 German time
Somewhere over the Atlantic
Onboard the Lufthansa flight, halfway thru our journey to Frankfurt. Next to me is a nice middle aged lady from a town near Munich and so far we have made some good amount of small talk. Her english isn't good and and mine is the usual. I think I am purposefully adding a lot of american slang to the my speech just make me look more sophisticated. We just had our meal-supposedly it was our dinner. A couple of spoons of cold salad, white rice, what tasted like sweet and sour chicken and steamed beans - was the whole course. And there was some kind of bread, american football shaped, very hard. I played with it for a while trying to figure out how to eat it without revealing my birth place, but soon enough I followed my seat colleague's preference and left it on the plate.The hostesses are european looking- prominent jaw, pointy chin, sharp noses and raspy english accent almost to the point of being funny. I already finished watching 2 movies - "UP" and "500 days of Summer". Both were pretty good movies, but I would have enjoyed much more if it wasn't for the cramping sense in my feet and the constant sound of the four engines rumbling at constant pace. The overhead screen in the middle of aisle showed the disheartening fact that we were still on the American half of Atlantic ocean. I turned my watch to reflect Germany's local time to save on future time conversion efforts for calculating arrival time. I think I might sleep for a while.

6:30 AM 07/01/10
45000 Ft over Germany
Were are apparently having breakfast snack now. A small container with a total of 5 small slices of fruits and what looked like a whole grain biscuit and juice and they rightfully called it a breakfast snack. I disagree with the breakfast part. Almost at our temporary destination now. The flight attendants have changed their dresses, sort of. Those who wore the official coat, removed it and others put it on. They also wear a signature scarf of blue-white/ blue-yellow stripes. But nobody is wearing Lapel pins. Not of Lufthansa, not of Deutschland. None. The captain is doing his thing over the microphone - cruising altitude, time to arrive and so on. The dude seriously needs some english coaching but his German was poetic-supposedly. The lady next to me was all praise for his use of sophisticated words. My Legs are killing me. May be I should take a walk, but I am feeling too lazy to do that too. I am watching Harry Potter And Half Blood Prince in fast forward mode selecting only sections that are exciting.

08:10 AM 07/01/10
FrankFurt Airport Terminal B , Germany
Just arrived at 7:35 AM local time at Frankfurt, Germany. The flight wasn't as bad as I expected. The nice lady from Munich was enjoying the flight and once every half hour we made some small talk. She said something about american food having lots of calories and I mentioned something about German Beer. I learned that she was visiting her Boyfriend in Colorado for vacation and was going back and it must be noted that she looked forty-ish. The Food wasn't all that good but I am just glad that its done. Also, I successfully completed the flight without ever leaving my seat. Thats right, for the whole 8 or so hours of trans-atlantic flight I never lifted my seat off the planes seat - even for a bathroom break. There is a possibility that this could be a record. At least for that flight. Just after exiting the plane and entering the terminal, I find out that the departing gate for my final flight to chennai is right next to this one, B-22. I have exactly 2 hours before the flight takes off, so I think i'll take walk around the Terminal but before that I have to head to the mens room.

8:45 AM 07/01/10
FrankFurt Airport Gate B22, Germany

The whole of Gate B22 is filled with Tamil and Telugu speaking people. Many in awkwardly fitting western dresses, few in saris. I just realized I have not seen saris for a long time. I can hear them speaking mostly in Tamil about flight plans, and calling relatives and confirming their arrival time and so on. A few sentences here and there are in Telugu, Hindi, even Kannada. I am guessing they were talking about the same thing. May be I should call my home in India too, but I don't have the number for the international calling card to call outside its registered phones. I cant use my cell phones since it will count as out of network roaming charges. Well, they just have to wait and see.

9:35 AM 07/01/2010
FrankFurt Airport Gate B22, Germany
The boarding process just began for my flight at 10:10. I just bought a cup of coffee for 3.15 Euros. I am not sure about the exchange rate but I know a Euro is more than a Dollar and it does seem a bit expensive. Anyway I gulp it down quickly and get in the line for boarding. I had reserved window seats all the way, and so for this plane too, I got a window seat. By the time we enter Chennai air space, it will be dark so this wont be of much help. Hopefully this final 8 hours of the journey wont be too long.

10:45 AM 07/01/2010
FrankFurt Airport Inside LH-758 , Germany
There is some moderately strong flurries of snow outside and they de-freezing the aircraft wings. As you might of guessed the plane is still on the ground and the time stamp is not wrong. I've been sitting in this stationary plane for an hour and still no word when the take off is going to be. The captain is saying, in german, hindi, english and surprise in Tamil, that there is some traffic on the runway and its causing extra delay. Thats not all. I had to switch my seat with an elderly Tamil lady so that she can sit next to her husband. And now I am stuck in the middle of the middle row of seats. There are a couple of kids ranging in age from approx. 1 to approx. 3 years and the responsibility of crying is being taken on diligence on their part. The happy prospect of meeting my parents after 3 years and going to my old home had already vanished and now I am just feeling trapped with a sad feeling for the next whatever hours until touchdown. I am wishing I was not in this plane right now.

12:00 PM 07/01/2010
somewhere 30000 feet above Germany
We just got our first round of drinks on board. For some reason I decided that I will only have orange juice during this flight and so far vie stuck to it. Our plane did take off at 10:50 which was a full 40 minutes past the original time. The hostesses on this plane are more Indian looking, still white and brownish, but slightly Indian. I am flanked on wither side by couple of tamil guys. One of them was a married guy and he had come with his German wife and daughter who seemed about 2 years old. She cried only a few times. The other guy was jovial type, mostly m age looking and was telling me how he got charged more for extra luggage by Lufthansa. I was annoyed, but slightly happy that someone else also suffered a similar treatment at the German carrier. The on board entertainment menu is exactly same as the previous flight, and I had already watched the two and a half movies I wanted to watch in the earlier flight itself. Right now I am just whiling away time by watching the onboard flight details screen which is showing our plane flying our green patch of land called Germany and time to destination is shown to be 6 hours. After more than ten hours of flight already done within the past 16 hours I am feeling groggy and still cant sleep. Thats a problem vie been having since my first flight. I cannot sleep while flying until I am extremely sleep deprived. So far I have deduced the cause of this to be the constant whining of the engines and also brightly lit screens from neighborhood seats. Oh, how I wish I could just sleep right now.

7:10 PM 07/01/2010 Indian Standard Time (IST)
40000ft above Arabian Sea. Indian Time
The cramping my legs are getting stronger by the minute. My attempts to focus my mind in other things for distraction is not really working. I watched Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince, again, this time in regular speed and completely. I chatted with the guy next to me for about 15 minutes which seemed like an hour. The pinching knots I felt in my legs few hours ergo have crept up to my knees and lower thighs and my in-seat exercises are not helping. The only relief in the past hours came when we had our lunch. We were provided, steamed turkey breasts with white rice, beans, and some chocolate pudding. Of course I had orange juice to drink, still keeping with my resolution for this flight. I has hoping that a full stomach will dull me to sleep, which I badly needed but so far no luck. The movie list provided for us had the Micheal Jackson's "This Is It" - a video montage of his final show which was planned but scrapped due to his death last year.I didn't watch it, but my neighborhood seat mates watched it in turns so many times that I can remember each scene. MJ looked just as creepy and siliconized as he usually did before his death, but more curiously his moves and flows where soggy and slow. The guys and girls who were rehearsing around him made him look like an aging dance master trying to teach his moves to pupils in slow motion. The clips shown in the movie were only rehearsal videos and so one could argue that the main show could have produced a more snappier MJ, but thats never going to happen now. The guy next to me just walked off from his seat. This is my chance to get out and do some much needed stretching for my legs.

11:15 PM 07/01/2010 IST
15000ft above Chennai.
We just entered our final descent for touch down at chennai. The captain acknowledged that we are running late and the thick was going to slow us down more. I am already restless. Still 45 minutes left for landing and I had already complained to my adjacent seat mate about the delay. We finished our dinner couple of hours ago and since then the wait has been long and distractions very little. I had watched all the movies I wanted to watch from the entertainment list and had to turn to my trusted iPod Touch for some podcasts to while away the time. Now as the plane descends much slower for my liking I checked and rechecked the forms that we were given for port of entry and swine flu purposes and stacked it with my passport together so that I can escape the crowd and quickly get past the emigration counters. The stewardess is gesturing me stow my laptop for safety reasons, so i'll do that now and check back once I touch my tamil soil.

2:30 AM 08/01/2010 IST
My True home, Redhills, Chennai
Back at home, at last. After a very long stretch of flying I have finally come back to my child hood residence. Due to my organizing skills I breezed past the emigration counters and after a long 25 minute wait collected my baggage. I said good byes to my seat mates who were still waiting for some their luggages to arrive and pushed my baggage cart through the door that said EXIT. The distinct smell of Tamil soil had hit me in an unpleasant but nostalgic way and the aroma increased as I walked out the corridor with half-glass walls and through the single door which was causing a bottle neck for all the travelers trying to exit the building. I spotted my father in the crowd and we did a three way acknowledgement gesture. 15 minutes later I was speeding down the newly constructed Guindy Flyover in my Uncle's Tata Sumo headed straight to my town Redhills.

Much has remained the same here since I last saw them, both inside and outside my home. Most of the furniture and electronic appliances that were there before remained in their last seen places, almost all of the stains on the walls were still visible, if only a bit dimmer. There were new spots, scratches and childish scribblings on the walls which showed the evidence of my 5 year old cousin's frequent visits. On the way over from the airport, although tired and sleepy, I watched out the window enthusiastically for anything and everything and things were mostly the same, just dirtier. The way our driver and other drivers on the road were driving helped a lot in keeping me wide awake. An hour and half past midnight our eardrums were being exploded with blaring horns, of varying and mostly increasing decibels, even in places were the horn is not going to do any good. There was no slowing down in the intersections even though the approaching vehicles were coming from all possible directions. I looked out in horror as our vehicle was so close to the next one that they almost touched, but before I can thank the lord for pulling them apart a motorcycle with 3 guys screams past between us. It was like watching a fast action car chase in an action movie except that instead of seeing the scene through a camera, you are the camera here. I was surprised at myself getting surprised at this since only 5 years ago I was driving the same way, I was part of the chase sequence without even knowing it.
The Tata Sumo I was driven pulled up in front of my house 15 minutes to 2 in the morning and i got the expected welcome from my mother. After some talking I freshened up and had some wheat chapattis and fish curry which after 3 years of waiting tasted like something that was worth waiting for. We had a nice little chat after the dinnfast (dinner + Breakfast) and my parents went to bed. I am tired too, but after looking around for a minute - back where I grew up - I felt satisfied. I was at the place where i had almost 20 years of memories.

As I type the final entry into this travel blog, whats the over whelming feeling in my head? The next 30 days are going to be awesome :)

Friday, September 25, 2009

What Is The Minimum Age For Freedom Of Speech Entitlement?

I stumbled upon this list of 110 rules on social behavior apparently written and compiled by The first President of the US of A, George Washington. Being curious, I scoured the Internet and managed to find it in the very first search page. An actual segment of the original document handwritten by G.W.(this is not allowed according to the list :)) is preserved in a museum and he compiled it, supposedly, before reaching the age of 16. Though a few items in the list seem about the etiquette of the time - 'you are supposed to walk to the left of a superior when walking down a pavement!! - this list has mostly things that can earn the respect of others even today, and more importantly demands a lot of discipline from the follower and hence self-respect. But it completely ignores the issue of whether emoticon/smiley codes are acceptable in tweets :(.
Below is the list, with modified punctuations and spellings to reduce it to 2009 standards of common literature. Beware, frequent trips to dictionary is most certain!!.

George Washington's rules of civility & decent behavior in company and conversation

1. Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.

2. When in company, put not your hands to any part of the body not usually discovered.

3. Show nothing to your friend that may affright him.

4. In the presence of others, sing not to yourself with a humming voice, or drum with your fingers or feet.

5. If you cough, sneeze, sigh or yawn, do it not loud but privately, and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.

6. Sleep not when others speak, sit not when others stand, speak not when you should hold your peace, walk not on when others stop.

7. Put not off your clothes in the presence of others, nor go out of your chamber half dressed.

8. At play and attire, it's good manners to give place to the last comer, and affect not to speak louder than ordinary.

9. Spit not into the fire, nor stoop low before it; neither put your hands into the flames to warm them, nor set your feet upon the fire, especially if there be meat before it.

10. When you sit down, keep your feet firm and even, without putting one on the other or crossing them.

11. Shift not yourself in the sight of others, nor gnaw your nails.

12. Shake not the head, feet, or legs; roll not the eyes; lift not one eyebrow higher than the other, wry not the mouth, and bedew no man's face with your spittle by approaching too near him when you speak.

13. Kill no vermin, or fleas, lice, ticks, etc. in the sight of others; if you see any filth or thick spittle put your foot dexterously upon it; if it be upon the clothes of your companions, put it off privately, and if it be upon your own clothes, return thanks to him who puts it off.

14. Turn not your back to others, especially in speaking; jog not the table or desk on which another reads or writes; lean not upon anyone.

15. Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean, yet without showing any great concern for them.

16. Do not puff up the cheeks, loll not out the tongue with the hands or beard, thrust out the lips or bite them, or keep the lips too open or too close.

17. Be no flatterer, neither play with any that delight not to be played withal.

18. Read no letter, books, or papers in company, but when there is a necessity for the doing of it, you must ask leave; come not near the books or writtings of another so as to read them unless desired, or give your opinion of them unasked. Also look not nigh when another is writing a letter.

19. Let your countenance be pleasant but in serious matters somewhat grave.

20. The gestures of the body must be suited to the discourse you are upon.

21. Reproach none for the infirmities of nature, nor delight to put them that have in mind of thereof.

22. Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another though he were your enemy.

23. When you see a crime punished, you may be inwardly pleased; but always show pity to the suffering offender.

24. Do not laugh too loud or too much at any public spectacle.

25. Superfluous compliments and all affectation of ceremonies are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be neglected.

26. In putting off your hat to persons of distinction, as noblemen, justices, churchmen, etc., make a reverence, bowing more or less according to the custom of the better bred, and quality of the persons. Among your equals expect not always that they should begin with you first, but to pull off the hat when there is no need is affectation. In the manner of saluting and resaluting in words, keep to the most usual custom.

27. 'Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered, as well as not to do it to whom it is due. Likewise he that makes too much haste to put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to put it on at the first, or at most the second time of being asked. Now what is herein spoken, of qualification in behavior in saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of place and sitting down, for ceremonies without bounds are troublesome.

28. If any one come to speak to you while you are are sitting stand up, though he be your inferior, and when you present seats, let it be to everyone according to his degree.

29. When you meet with one of greater quality than yourself, stop and retire, especially if it be at a door or any straight place, to give way for him to pass.

30. In walking, the highest place in most countries seems to be on the right hand; therefore, place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to honor. But if three walk together the middest place is the most honorable; the wall is usally given to the most worthy if two walk together.

31. If anyone far surpasses others, either in age, estate, or merit, yet would give place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere, the one ought not to except it. So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.

32. To one that is your equal, or not much inferior, you are to give the chief place in your lodging, and he to whom it is offered ought at the first to refuse it, but at the second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.

33. They that are in dignity or in office have in all places precedency, but whilst they are young, they ought to respect those that are their equals in birth or other qualities, though they have no public charge.

34. It is good manners to prefer them to whom we speak before ourselves, especially if they be above us, with whom in no sort we ought to begin.

35. Let your discourse with men of business be short and comprehensive.

36. Artificers and persons of low degree ought not to use many ceremonies to lords or others of high degree, but respect and highly honor then, and those of high degree ought to treat them with affability and courtesy, without arrogance.

37. In speaking to men of quality do not lean nor look them full in the face, nor approach too near them at left. Keep a full pace from them.

38. In visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you be not knowing therein.

39. In writing or speaking, give to every person his due title according to his degree and the custom of the place.

40. Strive not with your superior in argument, but always submit your judgment to others with modesty.

41. Undertake not to teach your equal in the art himself professes; it savors of arrogancy.

42. Let your ceremonies in courtesy be proper to the dignity of his place with whom you converse, for it is absurd to act the same with a clown and a prince.

43. Do not express joy before one sick in pain, for that contrary passion will aggravate his misery.

44. When a man does all he can, though it succeed not well, blame not him that did it.

45. Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in public or in private, and presently or at some other time; in what terms to do it; and in reproving show no signs of cholor but do it with all sweetness and mildness.

46. Take all admonitions thankfully in what time or place soever given, but afterwards not being culpable take a time and place convenient to let him know it that gave them.

47. Mock not nor jest at any thing of importance. Break no jests that are sharp, biting, and if you deliver any thing witty and pleasant, abstain from laughing thereat yourself.

48. Wherein you reprove another be unblameable yourself, for example is more prevalent than precepts.

49. Use no reproachful language against any one; neither curse nor revile.

50. Be not hasty to believe flying reports to the disparagement of any.

51. Wear not your clothes foul, or ripped, or dusty, but see they be brushed once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any uncleaness.

52. In your apparel be modest and endeavor to accommodate nature, rather than to procure admiration; keep to the fashion of your equals, such as are civil and orderly with respect to time and places.

53. Run not in the streets, neither go too slowly, nor with mouth open; go not shaking of arms, nor upon the toes, kick not the earth with your feet, go not upon the toes, nor in a dancing fashion.

54. Play not the peacock, looking every where about you, to see if you be well decked, if your shoes fit well, if your stockings sit neatly and clothes handsomely.

55. Eat not in the streets, nor in the house, out of season.

56. Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.

57. In walking up and down in a house, only with one in company if he be greater than yourself, at the first give him the right hand and stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him; if he be a man of great quality walk not with him cheek by jowl but somewhat behind him, but yet in such a manner that he may easily speak to you.

58. Let your conversation be without malice or envy, for 'tis a sign of a tractable and commendable nature, and in all causes of passion permit reason to govern.

59. Never express anything unbecoming, nor act against the rules moral before your inferiors.

60. Be not immodest in urging your friends to discover a secret.

61. Utter not base and frivolous things among grave and learned men, nor very difficult questions or subjects among the ignorant, or things hard to be believed; stuff not your discourse with sentences among your betters nor equals.

62. Speak not of doleful things in a time of mirth or at the table; speak not of melancholy things as death and wounds, and if others mention them, change if you can the discourse. Tell not your dreams, but to your intimate friend.

63. A man ought not to value himself of his achievements or rare qualities of wit; much less of his riches, virtue or kindred.

64. Break not a jest where none take pleasure in mirth; laugh not aloud, nor at all without occasion; deride no man's misfortune though there seem to be some cause.

65. Speak not injurious words neither in jest nor earnest; scoff at none although they give occasion.

66. Be not froward but friendly and courteous, the first to salute, hear and answer; and be not pensive when it's a time to converse.

67. Detract not from others, neither be excessive in commanding.

68. Go not thither, where you know not whether you shall be welcome or not; give not advice without being asked, and when desired do it briefly.

69. If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained, and be not obstinate in your own opinion. In things indifferent be of the major side.

70. Reprehend not the imperfections of others, for that belongs to parents, masters and superiors.

71. Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of others and ask not how they came. What you may speak in secret to your friend, deliver not before others.

72. Speak not in an unknown tongue in company but in your own language and that as those of quality do and not as the vulgar. Sublime matters treat seriously.

73. Think before you speak, pronounce not imperfectly, nor bring out your words too hastily, but orderly and distinctly.

74. When another speaks, be attentive yourself and disturb not the audience. If any hesitate in his words, help him not nor prompt him without desired. Interrupt him not, nor answer him till his speech be ended.

75. In the midst of discourse ask not of what one treats, but if you perceive any stop because of your coming, you may well entreat him gently to proceed. If a person of quality comes in while you're conversing, it's handsome to repeat what was said before.

76. While you are talking, point not with your finger at him of whom you discourse, nor approach too near him to whom you talk, especially to his face.

77. Treat with men at fit times about business and whisper not in the company of others.

78. Make no comparisons and if any of the company be commended for any brave act of virtue, commend not another for the same.

79. Be not apt to relate news if you know not the truth thereof. In discoursing of things you have heard, name not your author. Always a secret discover not.

80. Be not tedious in discourse or in reading unless you find the company pleased therewith.

81. Be not curious to know the affairs of others, neither approach those that speak in private.

82. Undertake not what you cannot perform but be careful to keep your promise.

83. When you deliver a matter do it without passion and with discretion, however mean the person be you do it to.

84. When your superiors talk to anybody hearken not, neither speak nor laugh.

85. In company of those of higher quality than yourself, speak not 'til you are asked a question, then stand upright, put off your hat and answer in few words.

86. In disputes, be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion and submit to the judgment of the major part, especially if they are judges of the dispute.

87. Let your carriage be such as becomes a man grave, settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others say.

88. Be not tedious in discourse, make not many digressions, nor repeat often the same manner of discourse.

89. Speak not evil of the absent, for it is unjust.

90. Being set at meat scratch not, neither spit, cough or blow your nose except there's a necessity for it.

91. Make no show of taking great delight in your victuals. Feed not with greediness. Eat your bread with a knife. Lean not on the table, neither find fault with what you eat.

92. Take no salt or cut bread with your knife greasy.

93. Entertaining anyone at table it is decent to present him with meat. Undertake not to help others undesired by the master.

94. If you soak bread in the sauce, let it be no more than what you put in your mouth at a time, and blow not your broth at table but stay 'til it cools of itself.

95. Put not your meat to your mouth with your knife in your hand; neither spit forth the stones of any fruit pie upon a dish nor cast anything under the table.

96. It's unbecoming to heap much to one's mea. Keep your fingers clean and when foul wipe them on a corner of your table napkin.

97. Put not another bite into your mouth 'til the former be swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.

98. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are drinking.

99. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after drinking wipe your lips. Breathe not then or ever with too great a noise, for it is uncivil.

100. Cleanse not your teeth with the tablecloth, napkin, fork or knife, but if others do it, let it be done with a pick tooth.

101. Rinse not your mouth in the presence of others.

102. It is out of use to call upon the company often to eat. Nor need you drink to others every time you drink.

103. In company of your betters be not longer in eating than they are. Lay not your arm but only your hand upon the table.

104. It belongs to the chiefest in company to unfold his napkin and fall to meat first. But he ought then to begin in time and to dispatch with dexterity that the slowest may have time allowed him.

105. Be not angry at table whatever happens and if you have reason to be so, show it not but on a cheerful countenance especially if there be strangers, for good humor makes one dish of meat a feast.

106. Set not yourself at the upper of the table but if it be your due, or that the master of the house will have it so. Contend not, lest you should trouble the company.

107. If others talk at table be attentive, but talk not with meat in your mouth.

108. When you speak of God or His attributes, let it be seriously and with reverence. Honor and obey your natural parents although they be poor.

109. Let your recreations be manful not sinful.

110. Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.